What maxing my pension actually cost me (and what it didn't)

On Saturday nights in New York, our friends were out. My now wife and I were often at home instead, making our own cocktails.

It started as a way of saving money. It turned into something we genuinely loved, and we both got better at it. Did it actually save us much? Honestly, I don't know. We bought a lot of fancy bottles along the way. I've never done the maths and I'm not sure I want to.

Last month I wrote about how I ended up with over €450k in pension pots without selling a kidney. This is the follow-up: what maxing a pension through the London and New York years actually cost, and what it didn't.

The part that was actually hard

The nights out weren't it. The hard part was watching colleagues enjoy their pay rises. Every year when the bumps landed, you'd see it around the office within weeks: new iPhones, new laptops. Meanwhile our raises were quietly disappearing into two things we couldn't see. A house deposit that was three to five years away, and a pension that was thirty-plus years away.

That's what makes saving like this genuinely difficult. Nothing you're saving for is within sight, and the thing your colleague is enjoying is right there in their hand.

What we refused to give up

Good food. Then and now. We do most of the shop in Lidl or Aldi, but the fruit there can be very hit and miss, so that comes from Dunnes. Fresh bread, often twice the price of the pre-packed stuff. Kombucha at €3 a bottle, which I love and refuse to apologise for.

It sounds small, but I think it's most of the trick. Decide what you actually care about and protect it. Everything else can be squeezed without you missing it much.

The resentment that never came

Here's the strange part: I never resented the pension contribution. As I said in the last post, that money doesn't exist to me. It belongs to the old geezer.

The closest I came was the run-up to buying our house, when every euro going into the pension was a euro not going into the deposit. I seriously thought about pausing it. I resisted, and I'm glad I did, but I completely understand why people don't.

Once the house was bought, I never thought about the deduction negatively again. It actually flipped. As my salary grew, I noticed the income tax and PRSI more, and the pension became the one lever I could pull to keep more of what I earned.

And to be clear, I believe in paying tax. I'm lucky to be in a position to pay it. This country gave me my education, and it looked after me when I was sick. There are plenty of blogs that piss and moan about Irish taxes. This isn't one of them.

So what did it cost?

Fewer nights out in two of the most expensive cities on earth. A lot of homemade cocktails. Some lifestyle inflation I never got around to trying. One nervous stretch before the house. That's the whole list.

What it didn't cost me is anything I still miss. If you're in the middle of that invisible stretch yourself, saving for things you can't see yet, I'd love to hear what you refuse to give up. I read every email.